RTV Day 2 & 3: October 27th to 28th

 Hey guys! Sorry I got caught up with studying (once again) and I was too tired at the end of each day to update you guys on my studying!!

Monday October 27th

This was my "Day 2" schedule meaning I got a spare (my favourite). During lunch, I did some AP calc and listened to music. Also my earbuds broke so that's a bummer... My mom gave me money to buy a few "pre-birthday" gifts for myself so I bought some Banh Mí for my sister and I and I didn't end up spending the rest of the money (yet...) Once I got home I did some chemistry and tried to do more calculus but I got a migraine so I watched PLL until I fell asleep. Unfortunately I only got 2ish study hours which is a bit disappointing but it's okay!!

Tuesday October 28th

All my classes were a drag and I realized I am behind on calculus (and all my other APs). Later on we had a chemistry lab which was okay except for the part where I forgot type the safety stuff which made me get 9/10 on that section, bummer...

I also got my previous labs back... Chemistry, I got a 25/30 which is an 83%. I was super panicky in that lab and had terrible anxiety that day too, I ended up forgetting a ton of the stuff on the lab as well as flunking on the discussion.. Next, Anatomy which was a 27/30, a 90% which isn't bad but I'm sure I can do better. I flunked on the discussion part once again lmao.

After school, I did some calculus and worked on my anatomy project before the migraine took over once more.

heres another quote to keep you motivated :))

The total study hours for those days: 3 hours and 55 minutes

Total study hours for the week (so far): 8hrs 58 minutes 

Study Icon of the Week: Nam Ha Neul (Doctors Slump)

 If you have not watched this K-drama I would def recommend it (although it has some clothing inaccuracies based on the year).

Nam Ha Neul is a female high-schooler that demonstrates grit and all round commitment to her academics. No matter what her goals are, she is generally able to reach them.

Ignoring the later parts of her life where she burns out due to her entire commitments to studying, we can gush about how amazing she was in high school lolll.

Study methods 

Ha Neul is often seen with a paper and pen/pencil in her hand, this suggests that most of her time is spent on numerical and STEM based subjects. Additionally, she is heavily routine dependent; from her clothes to her meals everything is planned. It is said (and possibly exaggerated) that she studies about 13-17 hours a day (assuming that includes the studying she does in class).  A few study methods she uses include:

• Active recall: mock/practice tests, flashcards, reading notes out loud 
• Spaced Repetition: Learning material over periods of time 
• Interleaving:  Switching back and forth between subjects (personally I love this one)

Mindset

Generally, she sacrifices everything to study: meal times, family time, etc. Overall she views others simply as noise. She sets extremely high expectations for herself to push her to reach her goals. Although she worked incredibly hard, things did not generally go her way.

Cons

Overall her study methods are good but her inability to allow her self a break that is longer than a sip of water or a stretch is what caused her burnout. Thankfully after years, she came to realize how extreme and hard she was on herself.

If you want to be like her...

If you can't tell already, I look up to her a lot... SO if you want to be like her, heres what you can do 

• Buy workbooks and textbooks related to your subjects 
• Study 7-12 hours a day (OR MORE)
• Carry around flashcards and notepads filled with definitions 
• For STEM classes do homework, then practice questions, then practice tests
• Prioritize excellence and discipline 
• Study late at night and early in the morning 

More extreme ways... (THIS IS A JOKE)

• Devote your life to studying 
• Wear your uniform like hers 
• Avoid making friends to keep studying
• Avoid family events to study 
• Study 12-17hrs a day 
• Do not take breaks 
• Skip meals to study

If you really try hard, you can achieve this but be careful that you won't burn out!! 

Happy Studying!!

Venting and Confusion

 Everyone knows me as someone who's smart and quiet. However a lot of people now see me as a smart yet socially withdrawn weirdo. My teachers seriously want me to stop studying so much and make friends, talk to people etc... but I just never feel a connection or a spark and I do not know why. My english teacher literally said (and I quote), "You need to learn to stop being so hard on yourself" but I need to be that way to achieve my goals. Plus I have always been that way.

At this point in my life I think I have tried too hard to make friends in real life. It feels hopeless and like something out of reach. It may be lonely but I am content with not having friends. There are adults without friends, adults with no romance in their life. People who's only connection is their family.. I do not understand why it is such an issue. Honestly I am exhausted, no one in my life truly acknowledges what I might fully be experiencing. It is always anxiety, social anxiety, SLP, talking, making friends. I'm so sick of it and I don't know what to do. 

I feel like I have pushed myself to my limits, I am a glass jar swelling with heat that will burst at any moment. I am a cup with cracks, there is already liquid spilling out of me.

How much more can I ask for help before someone actually does something to help me. 

Road to Valedictorian: October 26th, Day 1

 As you may know from my last post, I want to be valedictorian. Regarding that, I aim to study daily and update you guys on here. 

Today I studied Physics, AP Calculus and Chemistry. I was also supposed to continue my scholarship apps but Chem and Physics ended up taking a ton of my time lol. I have a physics quiz tomorrow which I'm predicting around a 90-98 because last week we took the test and everyone practically failed however my math was all correct yet test anxiety got the best of me and I made small stupid mistakes. I studied quite a lot for this quiz and took a few practice tests so I'm sure I should be good. 

For Chemistry I was seriously struggling on "Le Châtelier's Principle". Last week I was barely getting any questions right on the worksheets so today I seriously decided to sit down and end this issue. Two videos and four worksheets later.. I seem to be back on track.... I think a few more worksheets won't hurt though...

Finally for AP Calc (AB), I did some derivatives. They are great, I love math and I always will. Calculus is weirdly easier than I thought it would be but regardless I am doing well. I can't stop thinking about the AP exam though... that has me really stressed....

Overall today I studied 4 hours and 53 minutes which is generally the average amount of time I study daily. I feel like I could do 7 but I decided I should just cut it short and sleep at 9 today. I was able to get through all my goals anyways!! I also forgot to add, I made flashcards for chemistry, which I have been meaning to for ages. My posts will contain more detail and more photos in the near future. Stay tuned for tomorrow for another RTV post!!

(Heres a photo of Spencer to keep you motivated)

Credits to my online friend who initially came up with this RTV series

Goals and What Not

 Hey guys, it has been a while... 

Anyways!!! I am back and I am aiming to be very consistent with this blog & posting on this. I am already about two months into the twelfth grade, isn't that something.... Regardless, I thought I show lay down some of my thoughts and ideas regarding this school year, such as a few of my goals and why I have them. 

First goal: High-school Valedictorian

This has been my goal since I started high school, I also believe there is a very high chance of this to succeed because of two reasons. Firstly, I am the only one in my school taking 4 AP classes, two of those are able to add extra high school credit. With this (As long has I have a 95+ average) I should be able to get around a GPA of 4.2. I want this goal mainly because it has been a long time goal, I want to receive an award that I can incredibly feel proud of. Unfortunately I won't be attending any Ivy Leagues but I will be aiming for higher universities such as, University of British Colombia, McGill, and University of Toronto. Regarding percentage, here is my next goal.

Second goal: Maintain a 97-99% Average 

Reading this goal you may think, "Wow, this is impossible" but I believe anything is possible as long as you put in the effort. I value excellence so much that I strive for high grades that others may see as impossible. If I wanted a 98% average, my lowest grade would be a 96 which isn't so bad. It wont be as difficult to ensure I won't burn out. Although many people around me pray for me to stop studying so much and make friends I believe that the time to make friends will come. That time is not now. 

Third goal: Pick up Sports

As of right now, I am already a mid-long distance runner but recently I have watched the show Pretty Little Liars and I have two favourite characters: Spencer Hastings and Emily Fields. Spencer is my number one, she is smart, beautiful and on top of that, she plays tennis. I have always wanted to play a racket sport such as tennis or badminton. I think it would be so exciting going out early in the morning to serve against walls or even play with other people!! Additionally, Emily in a swimmer which I didn't realize how cool it was. However, I am afraid of the sensory factors that come with that, such as water entering your nose, the smell of chlorine in the pools, hair getting dried from the chlorine, the list goes on... Regardless I think it would be nice to swim late at night on a Friday after school. I am literally imagining myself driving from my school to the local rec centre, changing from my uniform to a swim suit and swimming laps just for fun!!

So thats kinda just a brief overview of my goals for grade 12, honestly I am imagining a version of myself that I want to become (I will go more in detail) I believe with consistency, faith and hope I will be able to achieve what I want. One thing about this year is that I am not going to fail myself again, I am obsessed and I will not stop until I get what I want. With God, I know that I will be valedictorian, happy and live the life I have always wanted.